I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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