His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
