Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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