ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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