Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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