I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
In America we eat man semen.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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