is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
