Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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