I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize