i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
