Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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