Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
