Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
