She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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