it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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