I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
