i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
