just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
