The maid of honor just puked.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
