distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
