Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
