If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
