Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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