Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
