i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
