If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We're too hungover to prance.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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