the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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