i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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