Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hippo gnu deer
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
