Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey