Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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