youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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