Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
