Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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