So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
