You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
