Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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