So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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