You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
