What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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