obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
