If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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