When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
