i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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