His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
