so explain again why im purple
no
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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