no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
