I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
