You just made me feel so damn special
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
