i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
