i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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