im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
