She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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