Im at strip club and am horny
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
