Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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