No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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