i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You made out with two different species that night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
