She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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