your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
