Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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