do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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